Feeling Stuck
[THIS CONTENT IS OLD DATA AND IS NOT AUTHORIZED BY THE HIGH COUNCIL. PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION.]
Lately, I've been having a hard time wanting to create. I find myself getting into patterns of becoming extremely interested in something, thoroughly enjoying it, and eventually feeling the inability to create something within that medium. It's somewhat hard to explain without making myself feel like I've just saying that I'm lazy, even if I know that isn't the case.
With my film photography, I've been doing pretty good at consistently shooting at least one film roll a month. Photography isn't a medium that I've worked with for very long, I only got into the hobby this past December. I really enjoy it so far, and appreciate it for making me take another look at the world around me with a different eye. I'd really love to make a zine or a photo book later this year, but I'm struggling to create photographs that I see as actually interesting pieces.
For the past month, I've been in a darkroom class which has inspired me to make my own B/W development lab at home. I've only gotten the chemicals and other supplies listed so far, but am almost ready to purchase them and start doing it at home myself. I feel like this will help me find more inspiration and appreciation in my photographs; the first roll I developed myself made me feel so proud of my own work. Honestly speaking, I really expected the film to be ruined when I took it out of the tank, so you can imagine my surprise when all of my frames had developed with no issues.
I know from these experiences that the best thing to do when feeling stuck in your work is to keep trucking and maybe try something new, but I find that the society we live in makes it easy to escape the process of working towards something meaningful through refinement. I come home from work (usually very tired) and am left with a few options: work on something I want to create but is very taxing, or play a few games of TFT before I go to bed. I've lately been caught in a loop of choosing the less satisfying choice, and I feel like it's conditioning my brain to kill the ability to work toward a larger goal. I recognize this issue now, and need to assess it with the development of discipline.